The VERY Secret Diary of Juliet
by Tora and TheEvilestGirlChild
Summary: This I found across the street from my house, left on a bench at the park. Suffice to say that I am now very scared.
1. Chapter 1

Di,

You know that hot guy I met the other day? Well, I bumped into him at the salon getting a manicure! I mean, I was getting a manicure. Like, he would never get one. His nails are _perfectly rugged_. Perfectly.

Anyway, so, we started, like, talking, right? So then, out of, like, the blue, he tells me what beautiful eyes I have! And I quote, "Your eyes are amazing…" Oh, I think I'm going to, like, keel over from happiness.

Dearest Diary,

Yeah, so I met him again today – this time at McDonald's. I can't believe I let him see me at such a _horrible_ place. I mean, like, McDonald's? Come on! That is _so_ bad for you, like, all that grease.

So, like, we started talking again, and it was, like, so much fun! I finally figured out his name, too. It's like the most perfect name _ever_: David. Perfect, right? I mean, like, he's so hot, and like his name is just _perfect_ for him. I think I was, like, going to swoon!

So of course I told him _my _name, and then we had, like, this _wonderful _conversation. It was, like, amazing. We totally hit it off. And guess what? He's, like, in college! And, like, he _asked me out_! And I'm only eighteen! Isn't that, like, amazing?

Dearest Diary,

Oh my god, what am I going to wear? I need to go _shopping_. I mean, come on! My clothes are, like, so _yesterday_! So, like, I've got to go to Abercrombie and Fitch… and Aeropostale, and Hollister, and get some new earrings at Delia's… and maybe I could get a cappuccino at Starbucks or something.

Dearest Diary,

I want to die. I should, like, totally kill myself. My date with David went _horribly_. I mean, really! So, like, we went out to dinner, and that went okay. Nothing _spectacular_ happened. He didn't compliment my nails, or my hair, or my clothes, even though I complimented his horrible ones.

But then he drove me home, right? And _Butler_ was there! It was dreadful! Like, I walked in, and then I left to get them some refreshments, just for a moment! And then I walked back, and they were completely all over each other – I mean, like, my big brother was throwing punches at my _date_! I was mortified!

Di,

He hasn't apologized yet – and David hasn't called back. My life is officially over.


	2. Chapter 2

Di,

You know that hot guy I met the other day? Well, I bumped into him at the salon getting a manicure! I mean, I was getting a manicure. Like, he would never get one. His nails are _perfectly rugged_. Perfectly.

Anyway, so, we started, like, talking, right? So then, out of, like, the blue, he tells me what beautiful eyes I have! And I quote, "Your eyes are amazing…" Oh, I think I'm going to, like, keel over from happiness.

Dearest Diary,

Yeah, so I met him again today – this time at McDonald's. I can't believe I let him see me at such a _horrible_ place. I mean, like, McDonald's? Come on! That is _so_ bad for you, like, all that grease.

So, like, we started talking again, and it was, like, so much fun! I finally figured out his name, too. It's like the most perfect name _ever_: David. Perfect, right? I mean, like, he's so hot, and like his name is just _perfect_ for him. I think I was, like, going to swoon!

So of course I told him _my _name, and then we had, like, this _wonderful _conversation. It was, like, amazing. We totally hit it off. And guess what? He's, like, in college! And, like, he _asked me out_! And I'm only eighteen! Isn't that, like, amazing?

Dearest Diary,

Oh my god, what am I going to wear? I need to go _shopping_. I mean, come on! My clothes are, like, so _yesterday_! So, like, I've got to go to Abercrombie and Fitch… and Aeropostale, and Hollister, and get some new earrings at Delia's… and maybe I could get a cappuccino at Starbucks or something.

Dearest Diary,

I want to die. I should, like, totally kill myself. My date with David went _horribly_. I mean, really! So, like, we went out to dinner, and that went okay. Nothing _spectacular_ happened. He didn't compliment my nails, or my hair, or my clothes, even though I complimented his horrible ones.

But then he drove me home, right? And _Butler_ was there! It was dreadful! Like, I walked in, and then I left to get them some refreshments, just for a moment! And then I walked back, and they were completely all over each other – I mean, like, my big brother was throwing punches at my _date_! I was mortified!

Di,

He hasn't apologized yet – and David hasn't called back. My life is officially over.


End file.
